0 and 1

Sometimes I wish I were a computer. Everything would be reduced to be zeros and ones. No shades, no intermediate points. No more limbo, no more caressing. I would then become one of those ice-hearted people or a total love wacko. Even though I’m conscious that pure neutrality is scarcely a chance among mine, since there’s always a yes/no question surrounding me. And there is the inherited thought that “maybe” is a coward answer.
I used to say it was bliss for me to be able to remain in calm, in the midst of every situation without covering myself with any flag but neutrality. But I can’t say it anymore. I’ve found myself urging to be the chosen prerogative. I just cannot focus in a single thing without having my mind thinking “pick me”. I miss my being neutral. I will claim to be taken as the right thing. And then maybe, I could be in peace again. Not neutral, but in peace.